You Just Don’t Understand
Saturday, November 13th, 2004
© 2002 Jim Ring
successjr11@aol.com
“But mom you just don’t understand” I said for the 1,352nd time in my life. “Why can’t everyone just let me be. I know what I’m doing. I know what it takes to be a success” frustration found in every syllable.
The problem is that the frustration that arises from what I am doing changes more times than a politician’s story during election time. Whether I was a truck driver, mental health counselor, fast food manager, furniture store manager, home business operator, franchise owner or stock broker, I had full intentions of being a success at every job I obtained. But in the end… you just don’t understand.
Attention Deficit Disorder. Lucky me, I said, when diagnosed some 18 months ago. I’m 40 years old (at the time), in recovery for drug addiction for over 12 years, and now I’ve got a new label. Just great I thought. At least that explains my lifelong craving for adventure, risk and fantasy. Three things that I used on a daily basis to get me through each day of my childhood and adolescence and still use today to survive my current adulthood. Trust me when I say, “You just don’t understand.”
Survival is critical at this stage of my life. I’ve always considered myself a survivor. I survived sex, drugs, rock and roll, catholic schools and bad haircuts during the 70′s and now survival in the 21st century consists of cable news, chocolate and the Internet. A distraction waiting to happen is how I look at myself sometimes. On some occasions, even I don’t understand.
Distractions are like potato chips. I’m not capable of having just one. You see, boredom sets in at any moment and I need something to give me that boost. It has to be a brain malfunction of some sort. Do you understand yet?
You see I am bright, articulate, motivated, driven, energetic and every other adjective you can think of to describe your typical successful, middle class, American male in his forties. Yet success seems to avoid me like Beaver avoided his Brussels Sprouts. I wish I knew someone who understood. Really I do.
i understand
I understand too. I’m struggling with my job that I’ve had for over 12 years. My behavior has gotten me into so much trouble at work that I just HAD to find out why. Now I know. I finally have a wonderful physician who referred me to a good Psychologist. Hopefully I can be placed at a desk where I won’t be distracted so much. I’m working on it! Don’t give up.