My friend Dr.Brad Reedy describes good therapy or a good therapist as a place where you get to find yourself, and as part of that process, as the messy parts of you come into view, you find that your therapist simply nods their head as if to say, “it’s ok, you’re ok” and “this is part of being human, fallible.” This is true in an ideal sense of any other trusted relationship; teacher, partner, parent. By acknowledging and accepting struggles and the parts that feel like failures, a child is more able and willing to see their core gifts and strengths.
When children have struggles in school, do you as a parent want a teacher that’s a gifted technician of educational approaches but with little relationship skills and lacking that accepting and forgiving way? Or would you rather your child have a less skillful technician but blessed with relational excellence and who can give your child that “glance of mercy” that sees all sides of your child and says “you’re ok?”
For my money, why not both?