My child was pulled into a conference with Maari (she had them come in small groups) ~ he reports, he had no idea what she was getting at (pressing them to think of the worst swear words they could, my son said, he thought to himself, “hell no”). Finally she said the word she was thinking of “fag”. None of the kids knew what she was getting at and then she laid it on them ~ reminding them about how special the June Play is, and telling them that this year they were going to push the boundaries of their identity (gender identity).

In a nutshell, the boys HAVE to get dressed in drag. Apparently no one can participate and not go cross gender (the smaller number of female students will have to play male roles). She discussed this with them (though my son said, it was like a lecture with periodic opportunities to applaud or chime in) ~ he was in total shock he said, and once he got the point that he’d be wearing falsies, garish makeup, heels he began mentally plotting his escape, so to speak. She concluded with, at the end, each actor will have to remove the wig (etc) to show his face to the audience (in dress heels and makeup) precisely so that their face would be seen. Because, final point, the kids who are great enough to do this, to explore this with her and the staff ~ those kids are terrific. Then asked for which of them were terrific. Maari wanted to know which of them were going to journey where they’d be pushed outside their comfort level and see what it’s like (to publicly dress up as a drag queen), with her, because those kids were (superlative superlative).

These was a group from the middle school ~ 12, 13, 14 year old boys! So even with a loaded question (who’s terrific! and who raises their hand as being “not terrific” ~ how manipulative!) like that one, there were only two takers, one of them a girl.

The parents got a letter that they were doing “La Cage Aux Folles” with the goal of, yup, those words again, “a journey that pushes them outside their comfort level” , because the message is “tolerance” “we want students to learn all people deserve acceptance”. “Be true to yourself”. There is no explicit mention about the mandatory cross dressing and the discussions Maari had about.

My son deconstructed that letter in a way that sums up all that is wrong, outrageous, manipulative and out and out poisonous about The Child School. Namely, the tolerance does not extend to pubescent boys who are uncomfortable with dressing as drag queens, experiencing themselves on stage with falsies and in heels, etc.

Maari’s letter also said that all this is “in a safe, nurturing environment”. My son, when he read that, burst out laughing: he said Maari made it clear that it wasn’t OK to NOT want to explore your inner drag queen – it was safe and nurturing if you go along with her.

The letter states: “all people deserve acceptance” but the unwritten words are, as long as you agree with me (Maari).

Now, the children who don’t want to do this ~ are excluded. The June Play draws in the whole school ~ academics grind to a standstill in May, they call it “June Play fever” ~ therapists, teachers ~ services and classes don’t happen, and the few students I saw in earlier years who didn’t participate were in the equivalent of detention (while everyone was in the Gym Building rehearsing, working on it). The June Play rightly was the highlight of the year ~ the first year I saw it, I saw the lead (in a version of “The Producers” ~ a student with Down’s ~ and thought, how amazing that they have the chance to do this!

And, one of the things about The Child School is that students have had the chance to do things here ~ be on a team, be in the school play ~ that probably wouldn’t happen in a mainstream school (too quirky, or too many issues, or whatever).

If a parent tried to coerce their child into this whole thing ~ from the explorations of drag and falsies down to the final: strip the wig and show yourself in makeup and dress and heels publicly ~ it would be child abuse. And make no mistake about it: this is coercion. You can let Maari in to your most private self, your sexual identity, drop that boundary and let Maari push you outside your comfort level, because it’s Maari after all, because that means you’re terrific! and many other wonderful things, and disregard your own internal warning system saying “no this is uncomfortable”. Because then all will be well. And if you don’t want to let her run roughshod over your sexual identity boundaries, then ~ welcome to Siberia, and knowing that your principal has told you that means she’s OK, but you’re not.

This is almost like training kids to be prey for sexual predators: teaching them how to disregard their instincts and boundaries.

Is there ANYBODY on the board who isn’t in a Maari Fog (*fear*obligation*guilt)? And when I think I donated this year (in part for the June Play) I feel sick. It would be one thing if kids had the option to cross dress, but this “her way or the highway” seems to accept that there it’s somehow legitimate for her to stipulate that a child agree to this or ~ else.

I totally agree with you on labels although when people are coming to terms with learning issues it’s quite useful to have a label/word that not only describes one’s experience (loosely) but also allows one to find others who have had similar experiences to commiserate with.

I was a poster child for high achieving “dyslexic” who found technology helpful and could talk about it. Had I not had the “dyslexic” label it would have been difficult to find an audience as many non-dyslexic people were finding technology helpful in the late ’70s and ’80s as well.

Would my life have been better without the label? Maybe so. But, I used it to not only find other people who shared my experience but to shape a twenty year career.